My heart hurts.
There is a void, a hole that can never be filled again. In my short 20 years, I have never lost someone as close to me as Grandma Rosina.
How does one recover from something like this? I watch my Pap coming and going on his own...arriving at his house to find him eating lunch alone with grandma's home-made CD playing in the background.
I watch him standing by her casket, tears streaming down his face; I can't recall a time that I have ever seen him cry.
I know grandma is in a place that she never wants to leave again, she is happy. She can hear out of both ears.....she never has to worry about being cold, taking an extra pair of gloves along.
But what about Pap? His constant friend, companion, lover, soul mate........is no longer at his side.
Is there anything to say to him?
"It will be ok Pap. We're here for you"
Nothing we can say to him will ever heal the hurt in his heart.
Grandma is dancing on streets of Gold, while my Pap is hurting.
I love you Pap!
My Grandparents on their 25th Wedding Anniversary
October 1986
3 comments:
Weeping and dancing all at once...the paradox of death. You've written some beautiful thoughts here, and I pray that you, your family, and your pap will feel the arms of Jesus around you during this time.
Grace and peace,
Sherri T.
this is a gift to your pap
and your presence anytime you can will be a gift to him too
and a listening ear as he talks about the love of his life
maybe even enlist his help for a little "history of Rosina"
i'm sure you will think of creative ways to comfort him and in doing so you will find comfort
You know I am here whenever you need me.
I Love you Cuzzy. =]
Praying for you and yours.
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